"Does this take us to the garden area?" OK, so I'm a bit picky. It's the Garden District. New Orleans is number three in the nation for the amount of city parkland. The whole city is one big garden area.

"Wow! Look at that! They even have KFC down here!" Yeah, and next week we will have running water.

"I haven't seen the cemetary yet. So, don't get off just yet." Let me clue you: there are no cemetaries on the St. Charles Street Car line. I did very politely tell the tourist (which were taking up four seats with only two people) this and ask if they were looking for Lafayette #1 (which in on Prytania street). The ladies' comment was, "Oh, I don't know. We're suppose to see my father in some cemetary." Honey, if you don't know where your daddy was buried, you got more problems than I can help you with.

"Are we there yet? I'm bored with this. I don't even do things I like this long." Said by a Florida Gator on a Sugar Bowl stay. My solution: go back home. Our mass transit is not here to amuse you.

A father's response to his son when the child asked who the statue in Lee Circle was, "A Loser." This is the south. You don't say things like that in the south. You can call General Lee a rebel, a traitor, a turncoat or a hero; but he was not a loser. He was loyal to his state. He fought for Virginia, not for the Confederacy.

One of my all time favorite, "There are a lot of chubby people here." Yup. New Orleanians are not health fanatics. In fact, we have been rated the most overweight city in America. We like good food, good times and good livin'. If that means we are overweight, so what? Our quality of life is better than anywhere else in the US.

Said while walking around in the quarter, "I hear some music. What is that honey?"
"It's that boat. What is that? One of those, ah, a kaleidoscopes!"
Hey people, it's called a Calliope. I realize that we call the street kal' ee ope, but the musical, annoying steam organ is a calliope. One of the nine greek muses of the arts.

A midwestern couple sitting on the street car was heard to say, "I could never live in one of those houses. All those trees in the yard. And the colors!" First let me say, they are not houses, they are mansions. Second, you could never afford to live on Saint Charles no matter how many military pensions you have.

An elderly lady was being shown the sites from the street car. Her companion pointed out Tulane University as the white stone buildings and right next door, Loyola University as the red brick buildings. The companion then pointed out the hall where the priests live. The tourist then asked, "Is that a Catholic school?" To which the companion answered, "No, I don't think so. It's non-demoninational. It's just the place where the priests go to be trained." Excuse me! Loyola University is a Jesuit private university. It's about as Catholic as you can get. Only the Ursuline nuns have been here longer.

Said while passing St. John the Baptist Catholic Church, "The top of that church looks like a christmas decoration." The steeple is gold. It was intentionally made so that it could be seen all over the city. And while it does remind me of the building in St. Petersburg, Russia, it doesn't remind me of a tree topper.

Two couples got on the street car one night. I was already sitting in the back (it is easier to get out from there) and one of the seats was facing the wrong direction. I turned it back. One gentleman got up and said, "Wow, look at that! The seats go back and forth to face the other direction. That's some nice engineering." Believe it or not, we're not as ignorant as the rest of the states would have you believe. Our seats have turned to face the other direction for a few decades.

Comment to the street car driver as we were rounding Lee Circle, "Did you turn your signal lights on?" He was probably trying to be cute, but he shouldn't have bothered. Cars should look out for the streetcars, if nothing else, they leave tracks.

OK, another comment I'm picky about, "How far into the Quarter does this street car go?" It doesn't. The street car stops at Canal and Carondolet. On the other side of Canal, the French Quarter begins and it is no longer Carondolet, but Bourbon St.

I am going to keep collecting them as I hear them. I do realize that New Orleans is a wonderful city. Many thousands a year come here to visit. And if a tourist is lost or needs directions, I'm usually the one they ask (I think it has something to do with I'm usually alone waiting for the streetcar). I don't have a problem with that (well, sometimes I do... Like when I have my headphones on and I'm reading a book and I look like I don't want to be bothered). What I do have a problem with is obnoxious rudeness. If you are not interested in architecture, music, food, museums, antiques, zoological gardens, fishing, sporting events, religious holidays, history or scientific research, don't come here.